The Countdown...

Well, I am done with shopping, the cards are sent all of my big work events are over. 

Now all I have left to do is: 

Bake, cook, clean and WORK. 

So many of my friends are school librarians who have the next two weeks off. I do not. As a matter of fact, our library is open on Christmas Eve, so I had to take a vacation day to be home and get ready for our Christmas Eve Open House / Feast of Seven Fishes Event.

To make matters worse, I work Saturday and Sunday; then Monday and have a half day on Tuesday. 

I don't know if I need to tell you this, but I am not a spring chicken.  I can't do what I used to do.  For example, the kitchen floor?  The grout needs to be scrubbed but I will just dim the lights and hope no one notices, or if they do they have the good sense to keep it to themselves. 

I have been power cleaning in short bursts. I have been slowly cleaning the carpets in order to save my back. 

I am looking forward to Christmas Day, staying in my pjs and drinking mimosas. 

Seasons' Greetings from our house to yours!

It has been a long, hard, sad year.

So long, so hard and so sad, that I had a hard time coming up with our typical TOP TEN THINGS.

Here's what I got...just in case you aren't on the Christmas Card List....

Click on the image to make it larger!

A Very Marianne Follis Thanksgiving

As your children get older, having a family meal becomes a logic problem

1) Madelaine works at Mimi's Cafe Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning
2) Madelaine works at Silver Fox on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evening
3) The boys work at Silver Fox on Thursday evening
4) Fred works on Friday night and most of Sunday
5) I am working to cover for my boss from 9-2 on Saturday.
6) Zach, Madelaine's significant other need to be at a gig on Satuday at 9.

Good thing I am great at logic problems.

Fred put the turkey in at noon and the house smelled wonderful when I got in from work. We set the table, fixed the sides and had everything ready by 5:30.

It was actually one of the nicest Thanksgivings I can remember. We lingered over our dinner, and then retired to the living room for dessert and more chat.  The whole thing was over in 2.5 hours and the only tension was when the boys teased Zach about being FIBL II.  FIBL stands for future brother in law, which was their nickname for Mad's longest term boyfriend to date.  Zach wasn't bothered, but Mad was.

Here is the gang.  Of course I am taking the photo.

(Madelaine has darkened her hair again.  I think she does it just to bug me.)

The cherry on top was spending Sunday morning and afternoon with friends at a crafting brunch.  There were mimosa and fritattas and decoupage.  What more can you ask for?

I also get a kick hearing them curse me under their breath for my crafting prowess.  I will post photos of my finished product, but they aren't done yet.

Here we are, with our mess...my hair is back because, well, crafting is hard work.

Monday, bloody Monday...

Why yes, I am a U2 fan, as well as an Irish American.

But that is not what this post is about.

It's Monday. After a long weekend of a busy Saturday at work and a Sunday filled with cooking, cleaning and company.

Today I feel hung-over and I only had a single glass of wine.

The good news is that I have plenty of leftovers so when I go home dinner will be waiting for me.

Very good news.

Looking forward to a couple of days off to work on "the project" and do some reading.

Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel

My last blog post was almost one year ago today.

And it was about writing. 

Last year I said that I loved to write but that maybe the dissertation had taken that love away from me.

Last year I was working on paring my dissertation down to an article.

This year, I am waiting to see if my article will be accepted for publication. It is being peer reviewed as we speak. 

This year I am working on a new project, that I am excited about, but hate that I am not spending as much time on it as it needs. 

Sadly, I am sometimes a "feet to the fire" kinda gal.  Despite the glib confession, it is something I don't necessarily like about myself.

In the meantime, I thought I would blog a bit. You could almost think of it as a warm up exercise.

I could never be a writer....

I love to write, I do.

But I love to do it when I want to do it.

Writing on demand has never been my forte.

When I was writing my dissertation, I would plan certain times that I would write…set aside certain day and set hours. It didn’t work. It would take me three hours to rework a paragraph and in the end I typically reverted to my original words and thought. It took a looming due date before I glued my rear to the chair and banged out the pages.

Before my dissertation, I loved to blog. I would come up with what I’d like to think were some pretty funny stories told in a pithy style. Again…the dissertation ruined that for me. It was forever before I was able or interested in blogging again. Or writing in general.

But…I am hoping maybe the bad taste has left?

This weekend I wrote a short synopsis for a chapter proposal, fleshed out three grant proposals and started seriously working on converting my dissertation to a paper*.

Ok…so it’s not pithy, but it is words on a page.

*Taking 200 pages and reducing it to 20 is not as easy as you might think. I was taking the actual file and deleting stuff and it just wasn’t working for me. So now I am highlighting the good stuff from my paper and lifting it. I know it sounds weird, but it feels less negative. Taking instead of deleting.

I need a sign.

Photos coming soon...

From New Orleans and my recent author visit with Gail Carson Levine.

Gail Carson Levine at the Library today...

Another author visit this week....

Author Visit with Rebecca Stead

 

 
We had a lovely time at the Valley Ranch (Irving) Public Library with Newbery Award winning author, Rebecca Stead.  Rebecca read from WHEN YOU REACH ME (Newbery winner) and her most recent work, LIAR & SPY.

We had a great crowd (about 85) and Rebecca was delighted that most were young people who had read her books. So often, she explained, her library events are attended by teachers, librarians and future writers, so it was a treat to be able to discuss her books with readers who brought along their dog-eared, highlighted and annotated copies.  There were some well read tomes present that now include another line of text...Rebecca's signature.

Refreshment table.
















Custom water bottles and bundtinis with cover art work.

Custom cookies based on two key elements of WHEN YOU REACH ME

Backdrop based on the cover art of WHEN YOU REACH ME

















Rebecca speaking

The crowd

Rebecca with kids
































Me and Rebecca

I like this one because we are laughing...and you can't see my face...(ha)

"No flash photography please....!"

I learned it by watching YOU!

Recently I had a conversation with my son about reading.

As a librarian and avid reader I always tell my patrons, and friends, and children, that if a book doesn't grab you in the first couple chapters (say 50 pages) it probably isn't the book for you.  Not to worry...there are plenty more and life is too short to read a book that isn't right for you.

This theory was tested this summer when my son Owen, entering 11th grade, had to read IN COLD BLOOD by Truman Capote.

Now, I understand the importance of this book and appreciate the ground broken by Mr. Capote.  I also think the movie adaptations of his research fascinating.

But.

I don't like the book.

There, I said it.

Here is a case where the movie depiction is better than the book. IN MY OPINION.

Again, I can appreciate the build up and the pains taken to paint the close knit rural community.  I understand the shift in narrator.  I really do appreciate this as the birth of a genre.

But.

I still don't like it.

The overly descriptive, overly long set up drove me bat shit crazy.

I am a fan of voice and I appreciate good pacing, so it is easy to see how Capote's treatment of each of these elements jarred with my personal reading preferences.

So...back to Owen.

Me:  "Owen you have to read this book for summer.  It is a ground-breaking book that birthed a whole genre!" 
Owen: "I hate being assigned books to read."
Me: "I understand, but you are a good reader.  You can knock this out in a week."

Three days later
Me: "How's the book coming."
Owen: "Holy crap, what is this book even about?  I don't understand.  Nothing is happening."
Me: "Well, Capote uses this literary style to make a point and allow the reader to view things differently. It also is unique in that you have sympathy for the killers."
Owen: "What killers?  I haven't even gotten to that part yet."
Me: "Be patient."

Three days later
Me: "So, do you like the book any better?"
Owen: "I stopped reading it.  I don't like it and don't want to finish it."
Me: "Owen, you HAVE to finish it."
Owen: "Actually, I don't.  You always tell us that we have to read a book for the first 50 pages and if it doesn't work for me, I can put it down.

"I LEARNED THIS FROM YOU MOM. I LEARNED THIS BY WATCHING YOU."

No one ever tells you how hard parenting can be.  There is a constant war within your head.  There is the correct reply to this arguement and then there is the right reply.

The correct reply had me parceling out pages for him to read by certain dates. Not continuous pages, but samplings of chapters.

The right reply had me agreeing with him that I too thought the book kinda sucked and then purchasing SPARKNOTES.

In addition to IN COLD BLOOD he also had to read another recent nonfiction title. He read FREAKONOMICS, which he finished in two days and then asked me for more books like it.

He got a C on his back to school quiz on IN COLD BLOOD.

______________________________________________________________________

For your viewing pleasure...other cases where kids learn "bad" habits from their parents:


Do you remember this?





And then there was this...of which I am totally guilty.

Fake it til I make it 2

More droopy feelings in a post today. 

I read this piece from the Washington Post this am and it set me off. 

Most significant:

But with due respect to my son’s feelings, I have the worse of it. I know something he doesn’t — not quite a secret, but incomprehensible to the young. He is experiencing the adjustments that come with beginnings. His life is starting for real. I have begun the long letting go. Put another way: He has a wonderful future in which my part naturally diminishes. I have no possible future that is better without him close. 

There's the rub. 

Fake It 'til I make it....

Day 1.

There is no getting around it. I am depressed. I have been depressed before and it seems to me that it takes a couple of different forms.

Classic depression: I have been the kind of depressed where you don’t want to go out of the house, or get dressed or sometimes even bathed, depressed.

Postpartum depression: Why wasn’t life like the Pampers Commercial depressed? And by the way…who knew your nipples could ever look like this depressed.

Anxious and Depressed: I have also had times in my life when I experienced panic attacks so serious when leaving the house that I couldn’t go to the grocery store and my hair started falling out.

Surgically Depressed: A few years ago I had a surgery that threw my body through a loop. Everything went well, but for the longest time afterwards I felt disconnected from life and had trouble focusing.

Postpartum (but not really) depression: Finally last year after finishing a degree that ruled my life for six years, I was left wondering “is that is?”

Now, my second child has moved out of the house and into the dorm. I feel like crying.

Don’t get me wrong: he is doing well. I am so happy that he has navigated the social structure of school, met some friends, and likes his classes and professors. He is chomping at the bit and wants to be on dean’s list even though he knows it is going to mean working hard.

I am so proud.

Yet I can’t stop crying.

And here is the thing, and maybe people have said this before, but I haven’t read it (maybe I read it and didn’t’ believe it) : It isn’t that I miss my baby and want him home, although I do miss him and I look forward to seeing him in a couple of weeks.

I think it’s that part of my life is coming to a close and there are no do-overs.

I will never get back the elementary years, or the middle school years.

I never took them to Disney or the Grand Canyon.

Oh sure. I can still do that.

But they will never believe in Santa again.

And they are happy and healthy and navigating the waters of young adulthood just fine; so I guess we must have done something right. Right?

I just am a little bit mournful over moments lost; a little guilty over things not done, or not done well enough to my thinking; and for facing a reality of the next stage of life.

Thank god there is Owen. He will get our undivided attention for the next two years.

I am sure he will thank his brother and sister for leaving him home. Alone. With us.

BioShock

I did some figures for work the other day. 

We are tyring to justify the need for additional staff and in order to do so took a look at a comparable library close by. 

We looked at how many storytimes and events they did each month, and what their attendance was, and divided it over the number of employees they had to put things into perspective.

Their numbers were sort of comparable. The big difference was the staffing.  They have 2.5 FTEs (Full time equivalents) and we have me.

Boiled down the numbers look like this.

Their employees serve 219 kids a month.  That is they "see" that many individuals in storytime or programming a month.

Me: 769

Yes, you read that number correctly.

I think this goes a long way towards explaining why I seem to be getting sick so often.  1) I am tired and 2) I am exposed to many, many people (and runny noses).

I have an apt with my primary care physician on Monday (the soonest I can get it).

I think I have an ear infection.

TLA and Phantom Limb Pain....

Are you tired of hearing about TLA yet? 

I guess I really didn't say all that much about it, and I still have to post the photos I took of my panels.

But I wanted to discuss something else today. 

Why every morning at 2:30 I bolt upright in bed thinking: Oh My GOD!  I forgot to....."fill in the blank!"

Every morning since TLA.

I know this has been on my mind for some time and it will take me a while to "get over it."

Can you have post traumatic stress syndrome over a life event?

I know some smart people

And they are all doctors!

My friend Rose Brock completed her dissertation defense yesterday and is now Dr. Brock.  Having just done this last year, I know how good this feels. 

Here we are with our advisor, mentor and role model Sylvia Vardell.

Lessons learned in mockery

I confess, I am not always a nice person.

Sometimes I am downright mean.  At least in my head.  I am still polite enough not to verbalize the sarcastic slings and arrows that zip around my brain.

One of the recipients of my mocking thoughts have been those moms who get all upset as their kids leave the nest. 

Me...I would joke with my kids: When you leave? This (their bedroom) becomes the media room.  I am going to paint the walls a dark forest green; have reclining leather seats and the big screen?  That goes right there .

I was serious.

Now as my 18 year old prepares for his Eagle Ceremony, Graduation and moving 3.5 hours away to college, well, I am singing a different tune.

Seriously, I understand that successful children who transition into productive, independent children is a good thing. It actually means that Fred and I did our jobs correctly, and have raised functioning adults.

But still. I have been a bit weepy. 

Like right now.

< 12 yo Freddy in the middle putting on his scarf>

More on screen free week

Follow the link to hear my friend Dan Yaccarino chat about the need for everyone, but especially our youngsters to unplug and learn through experiencing the world.

I think she enjoys torturing me

I called my mother in law the other day to see how things were going. 

She asked if I was stressing out.  I asked about what?

She replied: At having all of us to come down for a visit.

Yes, I knew they were coming.

The story went something like this:

BIL Bill: How come you didn't tell me the date of Freddy's Eagle Scout Ceremony?!?!?
Me: Just did.
BIL Bill: I want to come!!!!
Me: Come then.
BIL Bill: I am bringing my youngest.
Me: YAY!

Then my sister in law heard that in addition to my in-laws, Bill was coming.

SIL Lu: I want to come.
Me: Come then.
SIL Lu: OK.

Then my other sister in law heard that in addition to my in-laws, and Bill, that Lu was coming and she wrote:

SIL Liz: Can I come too?
Me: Of course.
SIL Liz: Will you have room?
Me: We will find it.

So now I have 5 adults and one child coming to my house for four days.

What's there to be stressed about?