Sunday, March 15, 2009

The problem with Facebook part 1

I have recently been spending time with Facebook. I know, I know. You can't really blog on Facebook, so why am I there? Well, Facebook works for me. I am the sort of person that sends Christmas cards to people I knew in High School, even if they don't send me one in return. I don't like letting people as you can imagine, Facebook has my number.

I have encountered problems with Facebook.

I was already unfriended! Can you imagine? Me! I offended someone!

I am really not all that sad about the event, more amused. The person was someone I knew from church about 10 years ago. She was very CAPITAL C "CHRISTIAN." I am not mocking, I consider myself a Christian, but also think that not everyone else in the world is wrong for not being one. Everyone is entitled to worship as they wish BUT, don't look down on me for not drinking the Kool-Aid.

Anyway...I blogged about this before but she posted her status as being stuck in traffic on a major highway near us. I commented back, quite wittily I thought: "Someone was probably updating their Facebook status while driving and got into a wreck. Hang Up!"


Some people have no sense of humor. Doesn't she know Sarcasm is my Superpower? I even have flair to prove it!

I have "found" a lot of old friends...and some have found me as well!

Someone I knew from grade school found me recently. After we went through the usual "where are you, what are you doing" greeting some time went by. I looked at his status and would comment from time to time. Then I got an email from him.

Before I tell you about the email, I need to tell you about myself growing up. I was a social outcast in grade school....which in my case went up to grade 8. I left grade school and went to High School. Our family moved to the area when I was in 5th grade. People don't move much in Philadelphia, so all of the tight friendships had already been formed. I was a loose end. Add this to the fact that our family was on the low end of the socio-economic spectrum and things were not looking good. To add insult to injury, I hit puberty early. Trifecta! I was the perfect target! It didn't help that I was a very internal child. I read and lived in my head. No wonder, huh?

I will give my classmates credit though...they were very creative in their insults. I was called "hairless monkey," "monkey face" , "MVP" (most valuable pimple) and "girl in the plastic pimple" (ala 70s John Travolta Movie).

Well, this very sweet guy's email said "I know that people were really mean to you in school and I think I participated once or twice. I have always felt bad about that and wanted to say I am sorry."

Well...on one hand, how sweet! On the other hand...I had kind of forgotten (blocked out) this part of my life. Oh, but now I remember.

I guess what I am saying is two fold:

1) Not all trips down memory lane are good for all involved in the tour. It was sweet that he wanted to say sorry...and it does my heart a bit of good to know that someone thought of me and was empathetic, but I really didn't need to relive that.

2) People change. At the time our lives intersected we were each someone else. I am no longer that child, although part of her never leaves me. It gets my back up a bit that he still sees me in that role. But what other role could he see me in? That is all he knows of me.

I wrote the guy and told him that yes, it was a HIDEOUS time in my life, but that I got over it, had a great high school experience and a rockin good time in college. I gave him what he needed...and told him I had no memory of him ever being part of my torture. (and I don't)

So, while I like reconnecting with people, sometimes I wonder if we are reconnecting with old parts of ourselves, more than the people we "friend."


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